My eyebrows fly upwards. I open my mouth and she shouts out, ‘Three fucking months.’

To say that I am not tempted would be a lie. I HATE cleaning the bathroom. I am very tempted, but I can’t actually take her up on her offer even if she offered me a year’s worth of bathroom cleaning.

‘Jesus, Stella. Just stop. You know I’d love to take you up on your offer, but I simply can’t massage like you. I just about know the basics and rich bitch’s problem sounds complicated. For all I know, I’ll just end up making her back worse and instead of giving you a glowing recommendation to all her rich friends she will do the opposite.’

Stella fixes her hazel eyes on me. ‘I wasn’t thinking of her.’

I look at her, astonished ‘What?’

‘He just needs a simple basic Swedish. Just exactly what I’ve already taught you. You just need to put a bit more effort into it. He likes it really hard.’

‘Like hell, I’m massaging your Mafia boss.’

She falls to her knees. ‘Oh please, please, please.’

‘If you’re trying to make me feel guilty, it’s not working,’ I say.

She looks at me pleadingly. ‘Pleeeeeeease. I promise you he’s really easy to do.’

‘Oh yeah. Is that why you’re so terrified of him?’

She turns her mouth downwards. ‘I’m not terrified of him.’

‘Could have fooled me.’

She sighs. ‘Actually, I’m a bit … in lust with him,’ she confesses with a wry smile.

‘A bit? You?’ I explode in disbelief. This is Stella, the woman who turns a spider sighting in her bedroom into a shrieking Victorian melodrama.

‘Yeah,’ she says softly.

‘In lust?’

‘Yeah.’

I shake my head in wonder. ‘Since when?’

‘Since,’ she shrugs, ‘forever. I’ve always had a thing for him, but of course, he’s way out of my league. The women he dates are all at least ten feet tall and totally perfect. I only register on his radar as a pair of strong hands.’

I stare at her suspiciously. ‘Are you just making all this up so I’ll go and massage him?’

She shakes her head. ‘No.’

‘Why haven’t you told me about this man crush before?’

She looks down at her right shoe. ‘There seemed to be no point. I’ve come to terms with it. The truth is it is way stronger than a crush, and it could even be love, but there’s nothing I can do about it.’

Suddenly I realize why every time we go out she freezes out every man, even the ones that look like serious contenders, who come up to her. ‘Oh, Stella!’ I breathe. I had no idea she was suffering in silence.

She looks at me sadly. ‘It doesn’t matter. It’ll pass, but right now I just need your help. I don’t want to let him down or give him cause to fire me. Until I’m ready to let go of him I want to keep this job going.’

‘But—’

She holds up her hand. ‘Don’t say it. I know. It’s stupid and it’s crazy, and I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I can’t let go. Not yet. One day I’ll eventually leave, I know that, but just not quite yet, OK?’

‘OK.’

One corner of her mouth lifts. ‘So you’ll do it?’

Now I am torn between feeling horribly sorry for her and not wanting to be manipulated into massaging her Russian. ‘I do want to help, Stella, but I can’t. I’m not qualified. I wouldn’t know what to do or say to someone like that.’